Birth Order Laughs

One of my sisters sent this in an e-mail to me a year and a half ago and it still makes my mommy self chuckle.  I have no idea where it originated.  It's fun with a touch of truth.

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
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Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners.
_____________________________ _________________________
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

You Might Be A Mommy If...

your home is frequented by visits from two invisible children.  I have not had the chance to personally meet them, but my children are apparently on a first name basis with them. 

They go by the names of Not me and I don't know. 

If you happen to see them, please let them know that there are a few things I'd really like to discuss with them. 

I'll Protect You

My mom forwarded the following devotional to me a couple of days ago and it touched something deep in my heart.  I desire to be this type of parent.  I want my children to know that I am their champion.  I am on their side.

Just like our Daddy God is always with us and for us.  He is our banner. 

I'll Protect You - taken from Moments With You by Dennis and Barbara Rainey 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. JOSHUA 1:9

One day during Rebecca's first year of junior high, she came home from school with an unusually unhappy look on her face. Some boy had been making ugly remarks about her figure (or more precisely, her lack of one).

"What's this guy's name?" I inquired. She told me what it was. "What's his phone number?" I asked. "Sounds like we need to have a little man-to-man chat."

When the boy's father answered the phone, I told him I needed to talk to his son. I said I wasn't going to be mean, but he had been making derogatory comments about my daughter and I wanted to tell him that such comments are inappropriate.

"Okay, here he is." (I could just imagine the look on this young man's face as the phone receiver came his direction.) "Hullo?" he said in that teenage monotone. "Hello, I'm Mr. Rainey. Rebecca's dad. From school. She came home today telling me about some things you said about her body, and I just wanted you to know I don't appreciate it. This is not the way to treat a young lady, and I'd like you to respect her dignity enough to stop teasing her about the way she looks. You understand?"

That was it. Didn't take long. I remember it took some courage to make the call, but I just remember Rebecca standing there beaming. And though I'd like to think it made a statement to the young man on the other end of the line, I know for a fact it made a statement to my daughter.

She saw the way a man is supposed to protect a woman, the way a dad is supposed to protect his little girl. How will they know if they don't see us doing it?

And while this portrays a father and daughter, God still used it to speak to my heart about my relationship as a mother to my sons and daughter. Ways as a mother that I can protect them and bring life and light when life has bruised them.

Lord, thank You for the children You have brought into my life.  Continue to change me to be the parent you desire for me to be.  Help me be aware of the situations in their lives where they need encouragement and someone to speak Truth over them.  I ask for an increase in wisdom to meet each of their unique needs.  Thank You for being our Jehovah Nissi.

Online...I Think

I thought about channeling a little Willie Nelson and singing you a little tune I like to call Online Again, but then I'd have to braid my hair and that would require a little more effort than I'm willing to give right now.

Come on, I am incubating a person here.

Now that you know you've been saved from my budding career as a parodist (at least temporarily), you might be disturbed to know that I now have a working computer back in my hands. *insert creepy organ music here*

Through a family friend, God has blessed me with a cute, little laptop and now I can get back at the ol' blog.  I love hand-me-downs. *smile* I mention that it is small, because it tends to strain my eyes rather quickly and that will limit the amount of time I spend online.  It might also explain why you might think I'm looking at you funny the next time I see you, please don't be offended just blame burnt retinas. 

Unfortunately, pictures will still be extremely limited.  The CD drive is broken and I'm concerned that loading my camera software will send the laptop into a coma.  I look forward to the day I can post pictures of my babies and whatever weird stuff I can torment share with you.

So, anyway...just thought I'd warn you that the erratic, sporadic, phlegmatic musings that pour out of this cranial mass will be resuming.

Stay tuned.   I dare you.

Still Offline

Just touching base while I have access to a computer to let you know that my computer finally quit on me and it's going to be a little while longer until we're back online.  No blogging, no searching, no e-mailing for me since mid-May.


If you need to get in touch with me, you're going to have to pick up the phone and call.  So old fashioned, I know. *grin* 


I've really missed being able to pollute contribute to cyber world.  I miss documenting for my kids and I miss the opportunity to write and process what's going on in my life.   


And life amazingly does go on with a computer or not.  Samuel turned four, Abigail just turned two, and we're trying to work on the house in hopes of putting it on the market by the end of summer.  In a case of what could only be temporary insanity, we doubled the size of our garden and Richie has done a beautiful job taking care of it. 


In the biggest family news, we're expecting our fourth little one in January 2011!


Maybe we'll have the computer issue worked out before then... Hope you are having a wonderful start to your summer!

Catching My Attention

You may or may not have noticed that a month or two ago I added something new to my right sidebar.  I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to add a link to some bookmarks I've saved in a Delicious account.  

And because variety is the spice of life and what makes this mama tick, the links cover a wide spectrum of topics.  Although right now looking at them, I see an underlying theme that we won't talk about right now, m'kay?

Anyway, if you ever want to comment or chat on something you see there, this would be the place to do it.  For the record, just because I link to something, it does not necessarily mean I agree with it.  It just caught my attention.   

Hey Diddle, Diddle

Hey diddle, diddle
Jo Ann really wants a fiddle
The kids are jumping all over the place
The old house laughs at her attempts to clean
And her hips ran away with her waist

My Pace In This World

Today I was thinking about how crazy the past few months have felt.  Baseball season started (read: my husband is mostly g-o-n-e) and it has felt like a tornado siren should be sounding off any minute.  I'm really having trouble finding a groove that works for me.  Ironically there are only a few more weeks to the season and then it will be time to readjust again. 

But this season, there have been a few times where I stood in the middle of the chaos house and felt so out of control.  Like everything is happening around me yet I have no part in it.  I'm trying catch up, but the train is quickly leaving me behind.

I find myself grasping (or maybe gasping would be more appropriate) to find the right pace for this time in my life.  Like the long distance runner to whom it's critical to find the right pace in order to finish the race.  (Did I just use whom correctly?  It felt right.  Sorry you grammatical junkies out there, I don't know why you put up with me!)
 
Maybe I'm not allowing God to set my pace.  Allowing Him to reveal Himself to me and what He thinks of me in all of my life's circumstances.  Not allowing Him to be God.  Ouch.

I know I've been running a bad race.  Putting on a horrible show.  Much like when I was on the middle school track team, but that's another story.  A pathetic and sad story that I hope to never be inspired to share here. 

The real story is that I want to run the race of life worthy of what God has done for me. 

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.  Acts 20:24 NIV

Running at the pace He has set for me. Not pulling ahead of Him. Not falling behind Him. Running with Him, at the speed where I can enjoy His companionship.  Where fulfillment, peace, and joy can be found.

Maybe one of these days I'll get this living for Christ thing right. *Can you hear me laughing?* Until then, I'm just glad He's always ready to refill my cup and quick to come hold me up in this race.