Face Value?

In the last several months, God has been peeling layers back in my life at an intense rate. I'm left feeling like an onion...exposed. Vulnerable. It's all good. Painful, but good because it's all about conforming to Him. Some of it, I haven't been able or even ready to share, but I've had one specific revelation about myself that's pretty in my face.

Most of my adult life, I have been pretty uncomfortable without wearing makeup. Especially when others around me have it on. I know that's insecure, etc., but the truth isn't very pretty. I'm not even sure when this thing got such a grip on me.

For the record: I am not saying make up is bad. But the reality for me is that I typically only feel good about my face when I am wearing some. And that's bad. For a number of reasons of which only one I'm going to get into.

What I've come to realize in the past two weeks is the impact that this issue of mine has or could have on my children. Enter the revelation. As the primary example of a wife and mother to my children, what exactly am I saying through this?

All I can say is...ouch. We were each wonderfully and fearfully created by Almighty God. Handcrafted by Him. I want my children to know that truth, to rest in that truth. And I have not been exhibiting this truth very well.

I want my boys to look so much deeper than beauty when contemplating marriage. And Abigail, my sweet Abigail. That she would be confident in God and who she is in Him and that she doesn't need anything else to make her beautiful. That my kids would know that the true beauty is His redeeming power and love in themselves.

Maybe this is a case of having head knowledge, but not having the full heart knowledge. I don't know, but here's to reestablishing my "image" in Him.