Kicking Passivity to the Curb

pas·sive/ pas·siv·i·ty - acted upon by an external agency; receptive to outside impressions or influences; lacking in energy or will; tending not to take an active or dominant part; exhibiting no gain or control; receiving or enduring without resistance; existing or occurring without being active, open, or direct

I have an issue with passivity. I have an issue with admitting that. What can I say? The truth hurts and when I admit that, it reveals a side of me that I want to pretend doesn't exist. I'm a go-getter, not a slacker. I'm a warrior, not a wimp.

In more ways than one, I can so relate to Paul in Romans 7:15 when he says: For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. Ugh. I certainly have days that I just don't understand. The battle that goes on within is so intense. As deep calls unto deep, passivity squeezes in with ferocity.

So, I am hoping to unleash myself from passivity this year. How's that for not having a resolution for the year?! Man, I'm not even good at being unmotivated. *grin* I'm not sure what it will look like, but it must be done. I am sure that a lot of it will not feel so good to my flesh. Which is always a good thing.

When I looked up the definition for passivity, I was a little surprised by it. I guess just because it hit the spiritual nail on the head so much. Lacking in energy or will, check. Tending to not take a dominant part, check. Receiving or enduring without resistance, check.

*Sigh*

It's beyond time to shed this thing.