Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Testing The Waters

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. -Michelangelo

I was visiting a friend's blog last week, when I happened to see the above quote in a little sidebar gadget. It made me chuckle as I had just posted some new year goals I had made for myself and I wondered if I should have aimed higher. You know, perhaps shoot for 15 pounds of weight loss instead of 10? But I decided to practice making boundaries and left it at 10...

But the more I chewed on it, the more I thought about my spiritual walk. And if I'm brutally honest with myself, I know that I've been aiming low.

Coming through a season of deep pain and hurt, I found myself in a place of distrust, anger, and fear. And inadvertently, a portion of it became directed at The Kingdom.

I stopped seeking and reaching out for His supernatural power. I wanted very little to do with it. I knew that I loved God and that He loved me, but I just could not . It wasn't about my relationship with Him, it was with the supernatural. I just wasn't sure how deep I could go in the Water anymore. Keeping what I deemed to be a safe distance.

I became skittish. Much like a swimmer who is taken out into deep waters by someone trusted and then is abandoned. That's how it felt. Suddenly, I was all alone. Everything I thought I knew, I began to question. Healings I watched take place with my own eyes. Questioned. People being set free. Questioned. Prophetic words. Questioned.

I really don't know how to adequately describe it. God in it all has been so patient. So gentle. Loving and tender. Helping me come through it. At a much slower pace than I'd like to admit, but through it nonetheless. And that's the important thing.

Because I don't want to have any limitations in my life when it comes to God. I expect the extraordinary to happen. I long to be in that deep place of communion with my Father. Sitting in His lap as He shows me His glorious Kingdom. Because once you've tasted it, you're ruined. Nothing else can satisfy.

So, I find myself ready to step back into the water. A bit hesitant, a little nervous, but knowing fully well that my Daddy God has called me there. It's time to reposition myself and aim high again. And I have to admit, the anticipation and the excitement bring a smile to my face.



pyrotechny said...

Thanks for the post, JoAnn, you GO girlfriend!

Doggone've convicted me.

Cheryl said...

thanks for sharing! and thanks for the reminder to "RePOSITION" ourselves --that really has me thinking this morning! said...

Love this post!

Margy said...

This current time in our lives has many of us living with the testing of our faith and trust in our Father. Thank You for your honesty. Your words actually are revitalizing to the soul. I actually think this should be read by many. I rejoice for you because you did not come to this on your own but by your Father renewing the joy of your salvation!